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Smart tips for the young, married & bankrupt
2008-03-25 10:00:33 Source : Moneycontrol.com
Our financial expert Dave Ramsey helps a young couple in debt.
My husband and I have been married for just two years. We built up a lot of debt very quickly, and have already filed for bankruptcy. Since then he has been working two jobs and 70 hours a week, and I'm working full-time in an accounting office.
We want to put this bankruptcy behind us and move on with our lives, but there's still a lot of bitterness and resentment. How do you rebuild a relationship after bankruptcy?
-- Kim
Dave says: Many young married couples have financial problems. Some are minor, while others can knock you for a loop. Whether they result in bankruptcy or not they're still hard on a marriage.
I'm sure you guys love each other, but being so new to marriage you haven't had a lot of experience trusting and respecting each other. I'd first suggest that you find a good church if you're not already in one. A spiritual viewpoint on marriage will be a big help if you want to make it over the long haul.
My second suggestion: marriage counselling. I'm not saying the two of you are in major trouble, but a relationship checkup is a good idea for every couple, now and then. I mean, even if your car is running fine you still take it in for a tune up occasionally, right?
Here's something for you to keep in mind, Kim. Men are task-oriented beings. It's important that you know your husband's self-esteem has taken some unbelievable blows. Give him words of encouragement.
On the other hand, ladies are more relationship and security-oriented. He needs to do things to show you he cares and appreciates you.
If you keep the emotional side of things intact, the financial matters will fall into place. But if you're constantly scared and at each other's throats you won't make it through the tough times.
Keep working hard, and make a commitment to buckle down and pay off your debts as soon as possible. Never borrow money again, keep loving one another and you'll come out of this in better shape than ever before!
This column is part of a series of columns by US financial expert Dave Ramsey, exclusively for you, dear readers!
A little about Dave:
My husband and I have been married for just two years. We built up a lot of debt very quickly, and have already filed for bankruptcy. Since then he has been working two jobs and 70 hours a week, and I'm working full-time in an accounting office.
We want to put this bankruptcy behind us and move on with our lives, but there's still a lot of bitterness and resentment. How do you rebuild a relationship after bankruptcy?
-- Kim
Dave says: Many young married couples have financial problems. Some are minor, while others can knock you for a loop. Whether they result in bankruptcy or not they're still hard on a marriage.
I'm sure you guys love each other, but being so new to marriage you haven't had a lot of experience trusting and respecting each other. I'd first suggest that you find a good church if you're not already in one. A spiritual viewpoint on marriage will be a big help if you want to make it over the long haul.
My second suggestion: marriage counselling. I'm not saying the two of you are in major trouble, but a relationship checkup is a good idea for every couple, now and then. I mean, even if your car is running fine you still take it in for a tune up occasionally, right?
Here's something for you to keep in mind, Kim. Men are task-oriented beings. It's important that you know your husband's self-esteem has taken some unbelievable blows. Give him words of encouragement.
On the other hand, ladies are more relationship and security-oriented. He needs to do things to show you he cares and appreciates you.
If you keep the emotional side of things intact, the financial matters will fall into place. But if you're constantly scared and at each other's throats you won't make it through the tough times.
Keep working hard, and make a commitment to buckle down and pay off your debts as soon as possible. Never borrow money again, keep loving one another and you'll come out of this in better shape than ever before!
This column is part of a series of columns by US financial expert Dave Ramsey, exclusively for you, dear readers!
A little about Dave: At 26, he had a net worth of a little over a million dollars. Life couldn't be more perfect. And then he lost it all, thanks to debt. That's when Dave went on a quest to find out how money really works, how he could get control of it, and how he could have confidence in handling it. For more financial advice plus a special offer for our readers, visit www.davesays.org
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