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1610
The following were picked from the net (courtesy: BBC/news) on the current situation:
How do you define optimism? A banker who irons 5 shirts on a Sunday
Resolving to surprise her husband, an investment banker`s wife pops by his office. She finds him in an unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitation, he starts dictating, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair!
"What`s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons? The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW`s
What`s the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.
I had a cheque returned earlier. "Insufficient Funds" Mine or the banks?
What`s the capital of Iceland? Answer: About Three Pounds Fifty...
Quote of the day (from a trader): "This is worse than a divorce. I`ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."
...
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Just found this interesting site - fourstocks. com
Looks like the site was launched last week...very interesting concept..
Unlike on a standard messageboard where you do not know the quality of the individual behind the views expressed, fourstocks seems to have a rating for every player based on their long or short picks......
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0808
Part 2 (concluded)
“And all this while, the banks continued to sell housing loans like sundal on Marina beach?”
“Yes. In fact, banks are in such bad shape that ATMs are asking customers for $20 loans”
“Super. So now, banks are putting Dindigul locks and escaping-a?”
“That would be the case in India. But it is America no. There the government is arranging for bail for these banks. 700 billion dollars it seems. They are buying all the toxic debt that the banks have created”
“Holy Kabali! American government arranges for bail even for this? And they are buying all this toxic debt? Will they buy my old, damaged auto? But anyway, where are they getting the money from?”
“From sensible citizens who did not take loans to buy houses they cannot afford”
(Gopal says something in Tamil that sounds like “What the” in English)
“They are idiots or what? If our government asks Indian citizens to pay for banks’ mistakes, our people will say Desire, Fried, flat rice crepes, Papad, Fried rice and lentil fritters* and ask the government to take a hike up St. Thomas mount. Wouldn’t it have made sense to let these banks go bankrupt? After all, the people who make mistakes must pay for them, right?”
“That’s not going to happen. It’s election year. Taking houses away from millions of people is generally not a good idea if you want their votes. I think they will wait till the election is over, before starting to confiscate property from home loaners.”
“Oh. Like that.”
“That’s not the only thing. Several banks did questionable transactions, like our Burma bazaar brothers, by selling exotic securities by repackaging loans . So on top of being faced with millions of loan defaulters, they were adding spoilt curd to the already questionable avial** that was made from rotten vegetables and fermented coconut in the first place”
“And who is eating this unholy avial?”
“Citi, Bank of America and a few other large players”
“Tell me one thing. So I can start a bank in the US, take money from people, give loans, go bankrupt, and then the government will bail me out by taxing people? So I can start all over again? Do this in a for (i=0;i =0;i++) loop?
“Yes”
“You know what all of this sounds like?”
“What?”
“Gandhi Kanakku ***”
* Desire, fried, flat rice crepes, Papad, fried rice and lentil fritters - is the translation of a Tamil expression which approximately translates to “Go take a hike”, but with more culinary imagery involved.
** Avial - a dish from Kerala and Tamil Nadu that is incredibly easy to make and equally incredibly easy to make badly. The window of time available to the chef to not mess this dish up can be measured in femtoseconds. With some difficulty. It must be noted that the dish is more common in Kerala, and that variant does not involve curd.
*** Gandhi Kanakku, literally Gandhi accounting, is a term that describes the dubious accounting practices of pre-independence firms that saved on taxes by showing “contributions to Gandhi’s freedom movement” in the books
-----------------------------------------
Courtesy: Blog site of Krishna ashok....
In reply to:
Caught in the NET
Posted by :
googol
0807
Part 1
It was a hot and humid second of October, and the clocks were not really striking because the batteries were dead. The autos were all haphazardly parked, a riot of black and yellow on what was normally the playground of the Bharat Matriculation school (State Board). There was a makeshift pandal and a frail old man was at the 123checkmiketested mic, reliving his experience of meeting somebody who had met Gandhi’s son. The audience, mostly dressed in khakis, was looking testily at the food stall, checking constantly to see if breakfast had arrived.
The Parameswari Nagar Auto Drivers association had celebrated Gandhi Jayanthi every year since 1983, and this year, the grounds of the school had been made available thanks to Kanwari Lal, who owned more than half of the autos in the area, and had recently paid the school management a large sum of money to admit his only child into class 1.
Peter, who did Saidapet and Guindy, and Gopal, who usually did saaraayam, were seated next to each other, and trying hard not to pay attention to the old man, who was, at the moment, extolling the virtues of a vegetarian diet. There had been a moment, a few minutes back, when the old man had attempted to mimic the sound of a goat bleating, especially one surrounded by stomach wall tissue in all directions. That had caused even the hungriest in the audience some pause, as they started to worry if their auto had to carry the old man to a hospital.
Gopal did not seem like he wanted to talk, but Peter was getting bored.
“Did you hear about Walltax street?”
“Why? What happened?”
“It seems that it crashed last week”
“Oh. Really? I did not have any sabaari in that area all of last week, so I didn’t know. What happened? Some poor construction collapsed? Road damage-a? Now made one way-aa?
“No saar. That is not the matter. This is Walltax street in New York”
“Oh. That is Wall street no?”
“Ah yes yes. But now it is taxing the average American citizen, so it has been renamed Walltax street”
“Oh. Like that. But how did it crash? Bin Laden ordered one more plane?
“No no .That was in 2001. This time, banks collapsed”
“Oh. Like our Chennai finance companies in the 90s?”
“No no. This is much bigger. It seems, they took people’s money and gave it as loans to other people, especially to build houses. Now, many of those who took the loans built houses but it did not strike anybody that in general, loans are meant to be repaid”
(to be contd)
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0807
Part 1
It was a hot and humid second of October, and the clocks were not really striking because the batteries were dead. The autos were all haphazardly parked, a riot of black and yellow on what was normally the playground of the Bharat Matriculation school (State Board). There was a makeshift pandal and a frail old man was at the 123checkmiketested mic, reliving his experience of meeting somebody who had met Gandhi’s son. The audience, mostly dressed in khakis, was looking testily at the food stall, checking constantly to see if breakfast had arrived.
The Parameswari Nagar Auto Drivers association had celebrated Gandhi Jayanthi every year since 1983, and this year, the grounds of the school had been made available thanks to Kanwari Lal, who owned more than half of the autos in the area, and had recently paid the school management a large sum of money to admit his only child into class 1.
Peter, who did Saidapet and Guindy, and Gopal, who usually did saaraayam, were seated next to each other, and trying hard not to pay attention to the old man, who was, at the moment, extolling the virtues of a vegetarian diet. There had been a moment, a few minutes back, when the old man had attempted to mimic the sound of a goat bleating, especially one surrounded by stomach wall tissue in all directions. That had caused even the hungriest in the audience some pause, as they started to worry if their auto had to carry the old man to a hospital.
Gopal did not seem like he wanted to talk, but Peter was getting bored.
“Did you hear about Walltax street?”
“Why? What happened?”
“It seems that it crashed last week”
“Oh. Really? I did not have any sabaari in that area all of last week, so I didn’t know. What happened? Some poor construction collapsed? Road damage-a? Now made one way-aa?
“No saar. That is not the matter. This is Walltax street in New York”
“Oh. That is Wall street no?”
“Ah yes yes. But now it is taxing the average American citizen, so it has been renamed Walltax street”
“Oh. Like that. But how did it crash? Bin Laden ordered one more plane?
“No no .That was in 2001. This time, banks collapsed”
“Oh. Like our Chennai finance companies in the 90s?”
“No no. This is much bigger. It seems, they took people’s money and gave it as loans to other people, especially to build houses. Now, many of those who took the loans built houses but it did not strike anybody that in general, loans are meant to be repaid”
(to be contd)
...
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USA and Europe are on brink of another crisis as Warren Buffet predicts.
What will be tomorrow charts and tables could not predicts thay are failed in this situation.
Things are happening which are not expected. How big blow it will give to small investers, I think great crisis then Harshad mehta time.
Crisis in Europe will take dollar to rs 50 range soon in days....
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Chandrayaan I, India’s spacecraft which is to take off for the moon, is on its way to SHAR, ie, Sriharikota Range, to be integrated with PSLV-C11. - BS
...
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* Agm Of --
+ Vantage Corporate Services.
* Egm Of--
+ Temptation Foods.
* Board Meeting Of
+ Bliss Gvs Pharma To Consider Allotment Of Bonus Shares.
+ Dish Tv India To Determine Ratio For Rights Issue.
+ Software Technology Group International To Mull Conversion Of Warrants.
+ Themis Medicare To Consider Proposal Of Acceptance Of Public Deposits.
NW18-------
...
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Board Meetings of:
+ Bliss GVS Pharma to consider allotment of bonus shares.
+ Dish TV India to decide rights issue ratio.
+ Software Technology Group to mull warrant conversion.
+ Themis Medicare to mull plan to accept public deposits.
* Annual General Meeting of Vantage Corporate Services....
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U.S. Senate clears nuclear deal now Ball is in court of House of representatives to clear it....
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* U.S. Senate approves India-U.S. civilian nuclear deal (var)
* PM says India to grow 7.5-8.0% FY09; medium-term prospects strong -
* Finance ministry official says expect RBI to pause rate-hiking cycle -
* U.S. Senate passes $700 nbln financial bailout package with inducements. (ET)...
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The Election Commission, which has just placed a Rs 100-crore-plus order for 1.02 lakh electronic voting machines with Bharat Electronics Ltd, is looking at innovations in it such as fingerprint recognition, ‘Totaliser’ or counting from many networked machines and perhaps Internet voting, according to the Chief Election Commissioner, N. Gopalaswami.
S.C finance- courtesy
...
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Karnataka is offering to make land available for Tata Motors\' Nano small car project within three months of the company making a decision to relocate from Singur in West Bengal to the southern state, a key minister said.
...
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JPMorgan Chase & Co. announced that it priced a $10 billion offering of approximately 246.9 million shares of its common stock at $40.50 per share. J.P. Morgan Securities Inc. served as sole bookrunning manager and underwriter for the transaction.
The underwriter will have a 30-day option to purchase approximately up to an additional 37.0 million shares of common stock from the company to cover over-allotments. The closing is expected to occur on or about September 30, 2008.
JPMorgan Chase & Co. is a leading global financial services firm with assets of $2.0 trillion and operations in more than 60 countries. The firm is a leader in investment banking, financial services for consumers, small business and commercial banking, financial transaction processing, asset management, and private equity. A component of the Dow Jones Industrial Average, JPMorgan Chase serves millions of consumers in the United States and many of the world\'s most prominent corporate, institutional and government clients under its JPMorgan and Chase brands.
(This is JPMorgan Chase & Co press release)
B N India news
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In More Breaking News From The Early Morning Temple Stamepde, Police Say At Least 75 Dead, 150 Injured...
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$700 bn bailout package fails, Dow slips 777...
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Udayan's Market Outlook
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Nifty likely to go back 3700-3800 level | |
| ||
| Udayan Mukherjee, Stocks Editor, TV18 | ||
 |
Popular Boarders 7days| 285 | |
| 188 | |
| 145 | |
| 133 | |
| 124 | |
Top Tracked 7days| 709 | |
| 695 | |
| 571 | |
| 469 | |
| 437 | |
Prolific Boarders 7days| 415 | |
| 396 | |
| 355 | |
| 328 | |